Things Kids Need to Hear from You:
We often get caught up with the daily grind that we sometimes forget how our children’s days or lives are going. It can be tough being a kid, especially in today’s technology-ridden world where the bullying landscape reaches far and wide.
It’s our job as adults, as parents, to offer a respite from the harness outside our homes, but at the same time, it’s part of the job description to toughen them up to handle certain realities they will experience outside.
Make sure that your kids hear these from you first:
“Success means differently to everyone”
Kids also feel pressure in school. They have homework, tests, papers and extra-curricular activities like you wouldn’t believe. On top of all that, they’re learning to figure out who they are, where their passions lie, what they’re good at and all sorts of existential turmoil that every kid goes through.
The least we can do is to assure them that whatever they choose, they can be successful. They don’t have to be doctors, lawyers or some hot-shot CEO to be branded a success.
Remind them that everyone has a different path to follow and as long as they follow what is theirs, success inevitably follows.
“Choose your friends wisely”
Say this as more of an advice than a warning. We all know that kids, especially teens will most likely test our authority or the lessons we impart, so expect them to cross the line at some point.
What’s important is that you remind them that good company goes a long way. The friends they choose now will be their pillars of strength and moral compasses when they grow up.
Stress the importance of having people with good character around them. Cite examples from your youth of both good and bad instances. Relate to them on a level they’ll understand.
“Celebrate your weirdness”
Of course it’s tough when kids figure out what makes them different from others or how different they are from the norm.
Everybody their age wants to fit in and if your uniqueness is staring at you, it’s hard to shrink yourself into the crowd.
Encourage them to celebrate what makes them different. Explain how different changes the world. The iPod was weird when it first came out. Revolutionary, yes, but not to all. First it was weird, then it became revolutionary.
Help sell the idea that uniqueness is a bonus. Something that not everyone has. It is their own brand. Support them in their efforts to feel comfortable about their quirks.
When at home, make them feel free to be themselves totally. Even if you yourself think they’re weird.
“Always be respectful”
Make sure they understand the value of respect. It’s not just for elders, it’s for everyone. Remind them to treat teachers, parents, custodians and the lunch lady with the same level of respect.
Kids have a tendency to feel entitled and because of that, they sometimes act disrespectfully towards others, even their peers. You need to explain to them that a sense of entitlement is not to be tolerated. Respect if for everyone, regardless of their sex, race, age or status in life.
If they disagree with someone or they don’t like a person, tell them they don’t have to like people in order to respect them and their differences.
“You are awesome”
Many kids worry that when they finally decide on who they are, that they won’t be accepted by their loved ones and secondly by society.
Help unburden them by at least reassuring them that you think they are awesome, no matter what.
Never let them worry that you will reject them in any way. As long as they are good people, they will always be awesome to you.
Small but constant words of affirmation will help kids gain confidence and make them more courageous to face the world that awaits them outside our front doors.
We should do what we can to arm them with the right tools so that they can live the life they want and deserve.
Always remind them that they are loved and beautiful!
Finding the road to living life fully isn’t just about adding things to your life, but it is also about saying ‘NO’ to certain things. Breaking certain habits and/or stopping certain activities sometimes can be more challenging than learning to incorporate something new into your routine. By eliminating the following activities, thoughts and attitudes from your life, you will experience drastic improvements in your quality of life.
1. Play Victim:
When you take a hold of your thoughts and actions, it all of a sudden becomes a lot more difficult to blame others for your problems. Positive thinkers tend to take charge of their destiny, so when they mess up they have no problem taking blame for the consequences. As a bonus, by not focusing on people or events that may have unjustly impacted their lives negatively, they can focus on moving forward.
2. Not Show Gratitude:
Appreciation for the small things is what helps build a positive attitude in the first place. It is hard to be depressed when you realize the wonders of electricity, the internet technologies or indoor plumbing that were not around all that long ago. There also are the timeless things to be grateful for like love, nature or friendship.
3. Dwell On Negative Thoughts
Even positive thinkers occasionally have a negative thought pop up in their head, because no one can only think 100% positive thoughts all of the time. How they handle these negative thoughts is what sets them apart. Instead of dwelling on the same negative thought over and over again, positive thinkers will acknowledge the negative thought, correct it and move on. For example: if someone who thinks positively most of the time thinks ” I’m really having a bad day today” will not repeat that thought. Instead they will think of all the good things that happened today or try to make the day better.
4. Engage in Destructive Behavior
Positive thinkers tend to be focused on small steps to get to their larger goals so they tend to steer away from activities that impede their progress. Eating too much, drinking too much and sleeping too little just aren’t things to do when everyday is considered to be an opportunity to enrich and improve your life.
5. Hang Around a Negative Crowd
When you think positively, the people who are always hating, nay saying and all of that are just so tiring to be around. Who wants to sit around listening to others whine about their troubles all of the time? If these people are so cynical and pessimistic, why aren’t they out doing something about their lives or the world rather than sitting and jabbering about it?
6. Give upon what is important
Being a positive thinker does not mean NEVER giving up, but it does mean not giving up on things that are important. When you focus your mind towards a goal every single day, giving up just becomes a non-option.
7. Flail around aimlessly
Positive thinkers have a tendency to focus their mind towards progress, so they do not spend a lot of time lolly grabbing around. Unless the goal is to take time to relax and do nothing, positive thinkers work towards achieving their dreams rather than spending each day wondering aimlessly.
8. Stress about Imaginary Scenarios
What is the point of worrying about something that isn’t even happened yet or probably will never happen? When you have a positive outlook on life, you soon realize that the boogie man isn’t out to get you, and even if he is, it is a waste of time worrying about it!
Let’s face it - we all resist change.
We all cling to the status quo even if the status quo isn’t all that great. Why?
It is easy - we ALL fear change…. We fear the unknown.
We all have a thermostat in our brain that want to keep us in our comfort zone in order to avoid anything that might be painful. Our comfort zone keeps us stuck at a certain level that we get used to, even if we were unhappy or feel stuck.
Yet, despite the terrible price we pay, we don’t leave the comfort zone. Why is that?
Why do we resist change even though we know in our hearts that change is inevitable? Because the moment we step out of the familiar, we are in the unknown. We are also help there by our need for immediate gratification. The comfort zone makes us feel good in the moment.
Some of us get to a point in life where we think ‘ life is good…..I like where I am….so STOP it right here’. It is easy to think “Who cares what the future consequences will be?’
The problem is, you’ll eventually have to pay the consequence of experiencing the worse pain of all – the knowledge that you have wasted your life!
Accepting the fact of life that life DOES change whether we want it to or not is the first step in helping yourself to accept the other fact - all change is NOT bad.
Oh, I sure admit that change can sometimes be scary. Some changes can disrupt your sleep pattern, make you overeat and wreak havoc with your personal relationships, among other things.
But if we learn to look at change as the inevitable excitement of life and if we quit being so fearful of the unknown and learn to delay instant gratification, we can avoid a lot of the stress and anxiety that change throws our way.
Having the courage to go into the unknown and act in the face of fear allows you to tap into limitless possibilities.
Accepting change with a positive outlook can make even the most drastic changes easier. Drawing on your own past experiences of change can also help. Maybe you thought the worst would surely happen when there have been changes in your life in the past, only to discover that the change actually made life better in some ways.
It’s true that sometimes there’s no apparent silver lining to major life changes, but it is also true that all of life’s changes are not BAD, either.
Do not struggle with change, rather accept it and be open to it and free yourself from the fears that are holding you back from achieving what you want in life!
#1: I am fighting hard for the things I want most
* The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives.
* Most great things don’t come easy, but they are worth waiting for and fighting for.
#2: I am taking action now
* Many great things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow!
#3: I am focusing on the next positive step
* The future holds nothing but endless potential.
* There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
#4: I am proud to wear my truth
* How you see yourself means everything.
* To be beautiful means to live confidently in your own skin.
#5: I have a lot to smile about
* Happiness is not a result of getting something you don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what you do have.
#6: I am making the best of it
* Everything you go through grows you.
* Amazing things can and do happen when you least expect them.
#7: I am letting go of yesterday’s stress
* Leave behind the stress, the drama and the worries. Lay this day to rest.
* Tomorrow is about hope, new possibilities and the opportunity to make a better day.
#8: There is enough time today to do something I love doing
* You will find happiness in doing the things you love to do – set time aside to do it.
#9: I am priceless in someone’s eyes
* Focus on those who love and accept you for who you are and shower them with the love and kindness they deserve.
* Cherish the people who saw you when you were invisible to everyone else.
#10. It is not too late
* No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change and become a better version of yourself!
Strive for that!